The Power of the Single Parent: How to Train Your Children

Proverbs 22:6 -Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

We as parents have the very difficult job of training our children. Many of you may be offended at this scripture because of the word train. People often think that animals should be trained and not humans. The bible states differently. Your children are to be trained so that they can live a Christ-like lifestyle.

I want you to understand that teaching your children and training them is two different things. You can teach from afar, much like I do when I write these devotionals. But training is different. Training must be done up close and personal. There are many things you must train your child to do as they grow into young men and women. There are different levels of training and various ways to train depending on your child(ren). However, one thing is common among all training that is done with your children: You must train them according to God’s ways!

Parents, you have the task of training your children to do things God’s way – in everything! Yes, in housekeeping, saving their money, making and keeping friends, dealing with people that do not like them, getting a job, listening to authority…everything. The foundation of all your training should be Christ!

I am completely dumbfounded at how much parents train their children to do all the wrong things and expect their children to not have pre-marital sex, not to have children out of wedlock, stay out of jail, stay drug free, etc. Children mostly do what they are trained or permitted to do.

Secondly, I am flabbergasted at parents who literally expect their children to fail! Most parents EXPECT their children to have premarital sex. They EXPECT their children to try drugs and drink. How do I know? Because this is the comment that I get most often when I speak to parents “They are going to do it anyway…” Parents, your children do not HAVE TO sin! If you train them to be godly, most likely your children will not indulge in ungodliness. I can not count the times when parents ask me if I am a grandmother yet…as if they EXPECT me to be a grandmother! These same parents get almost indignant when I tell them that I believe God for my sons and pray that they will not have any children until they get older and be married to the right woman. They look at me as if it’s something wrong with ME!

This is how backwards the world is today. People have changed godliness into sin and sin into godliness! When you train your child you must train them according to the bible, no matter how you feel or what you think about it. There were some things that my parents permitted me to do that was outright anti-God! I did not permit my children to indulge in those behaviors. I now have grown children and they will tell you that when they are in ungodliness I warn them and tell them that their behaviors are unacceptable and they will be held accountable for them. No, I do not baby them. I hold them responsible for their actions, just like God will hold us responsible for our actions.

While training your children you must have biblical standards and stand firm on them. I don’t care if it is 2009 or 2050, Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever and His word will not change! Your standards should not fluctuate with the year. Stand firm. Also, many parents compromise their standards because their children don’t like the rules. The training is not for your children to “like”. The training is for their growth and development. You have to constantly explain to your children that the rules and standards are for THEIR future, not yours. Once your children are of age God will hold them accountable for what they have been taught. God will in turn reward you for your diligence and faithfulness in training your children.

This reminds me of the many singers who were raised in church with godly parents that are now singing for Satan. Can you imagine the damage those singers would have made to Satan’s kingdom? But now they are furthering it. This is so disheartening. One scripture in the Old Testament comes to mind when I think of these singers: Leviticus 19:29 - Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom , and the land become full of wickedness. Yes, there are many parents who are prostituting their children. Most of them are not in the back alleys. They are on stage and television.

Also, I must mention one more important thing when training your children. You must train your children to identify their strengths AND weaknesses. Many, many parents pay more attention to their child’s strengths and do not warn them of their weaknesses. This is what causes our children to fail in life. We give worldly synonyms for our children’s weaknesses. For example - The world calls rebellion a free spirit. However, God calls it witchcraft. (I Samuel 15:23- For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry). The world calls pride independence. The bible calls it the prelude to destruction. (Proverbs 16:18 - Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall). Call their weaknesses what they are and stop making excuses for your children.

Parents, training your children is not easy especially with all the worldly and demonic influences that are out today. But if God said for you to train your children then that is what he means. Yes, you will be talked about, your children will say they hate you and many influences will be against you. But if God be for you, who can be against you?

Remember single parents, you have power with God. Tap into it. The Lord is with you!