The Power of the Single Parent: Discipline

Discipline is always a hot topic when discussing how to raise your children. There are two very different ends of the spectrum when discussing discipline. Either people want to discipline their children or they don’t. Well want to tell you that God is for disciplining your children. There are different methods of disciplining your children and I will discuss them briefly today. Now, again, I am going to have to remind you that according to GOD’S STANDARD, He condones SPANKING – (and I will prove it). However, God does not condone ABUSE! Spanking and abuse is two different things. First, let’s look at abuse.

Abuse means to misuse something or someone out of its original purpose. For instance, let’s take a chair. A chair was designed to be sat on. There are three different ways I can misuse the original purpose of a chair. I can throw a chair, kick it and I can stand on it. The chair was not made for this type of use and as a result of my abuse I can damage the chair. The same happens with your children. Your children were not designed to be kicked, thrown and stood on. A person that does this misuses the original purpose of the child. The mechanism in which we discipline our children is called correction – which is to spank you child.

Now, before I break this down I want you to understand the purpose of discipline. All forms discipline should be used to make a disciple out of your children. Not a disciple of Jesus, but a disciple of the order and authority of your home. If you discipline your children correctly, they will willingly and humbly follow the rules you set.

There are many forms of correction: talking (which seems to be most popular, yet the most ineffective in severe cases), standing in the corner (for the tots); restrictions of toys or pleasures; sending children away to live with other people (not recommended, unless in extreme and abusive situations). All of these are forms of correction and can be very effective if used wisely and carefully. But I want to talk about two forms of correction that is the most heated forms to discuss: spanking and suffering consequences.

Whew – it’s getting hot in here already!

Here is how God feels about spanking:

Proverbs 22:15 – Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the ROD OF CORRECTION shall drive it far from him.

1. Spanking should be done with a rod. Not your hands. Your child should fear the rod, not you. They should respect you. When a parent corrects with their hands the child fears them which will ultimately cause the child to act right out of fear, not out of love. Spanking should be done with love.

2. The reason to spank your child is to drive foolishness from them The scripture says foolishness is interwoven in the heart of a child. When a child is disobedient, talks back, says fresh things and consistently does not listen to the parent, God calls this foolishness. The more a parent allows these behaviors the harder it will be to drive them from the child.

Proverbs 13:24 - He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (early).

God is saying that if you withhold spanking from your child (when they deserve to be spanked) you HATE your child. That is strong words coming from our God. When you spank your child you are teaching them the principle of boundaries! Oh, how people violate boundaries! If you let your child do whatever he wants you are training your child to overstep boundaries with can lead to dire consequences later in life. If you do this God says you hate your children. Always remember, love promotes boundaries.

Next let’s discuss allowing your children to suffer consequences as a form of correction.

Psalm 78:29-33: So they did eat and were well filled for he gave them their own desire; They were not estranged from their lust. But while their meat was yet in their mouths, The wrath of God came upon them, and slew the fattest of them, and smote down the chosen men of Israel. For all this they sinned still, and believed not for his wondrous works. Therefore their days did he consume in vanity, and their years in trouble.

You know, I talk to many parents, both men and women. And just below spanking, allowing your children to suffer the consequences of their actions is the most avoided form of correction. Parents have a very difficult time with this form of correction because they don’t want to see their child suffer in any way. Well, I want to tell you that God, who is The Father of all Christians, WILL ALLOW YOU TO SUFFER as a form of correction.

God has a lot of mercy, but his patience does run out. As we can see in this scripture God watched the Israelites mummer, complain, and sin until his patience ran out. God gave the Israelites what they wanted until it consumed them and brought them anguish and trouble their whole life. The Israelites lived the rest of their lives completely out of His will.

Now, is that cruel? Absolutely not! God has to show us that he has a will and we must follow it. Since you are the parent and leader of your home there is a will for your house and your children must follow it. Sometimes talking, taking things and even spanking may not work on a child who is bent on doing what they want to do. In these times you must step back and allow the consequences of their actions to take over. Many, many parents run to the aid of their children at every whim. If you are this type of parent, your child will never grow up to be a responsible adult.

Another instance in the bible that speaks of consequences of actions is that of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). I think we all know the story. The son became very indignant and demanded his part of the inheritance and went out and spent it on wasteful living. It just so happened that a famine hit the land and the son became so poor he resulted to eating from pig’s pen. But one thing you never read in the scripture is that the father went after the son. He never sent a messenger to look for him nor did he ask the authorities to bring him home. The father allowed his son to suffer the consequences of his rebellion. Eventually, the son came back to his senses and went back home…humbled!

Allowing your children to suffer the consequences of their actions will bring humility where there was pride and obedience where there was rebellion. Yes, they will hurt but the hurt will ultimately be for their good.