The Power of the Single Parent: Hagar

I am not using today’s devotional to glamorize being a single parent. As always I will do my very best to give a balanced look at each subject I write on to help you understand God in the way that he should be understood. So many people give a distorted view of God and his ways. Remember, He is ALWAYS balanced. If you hear any doctrine, sermon, speech, preaching or teaching that elevates one side of a subject you are to do these things: Question, Research, Pray, Discern, and lastly, Bring Balance. One day I will teach on this process…but not today.

Many pastors, prophets, preachers and teachers want you to believe what they are saying out of their mouths without you questioning what they are saying. This is ungodly! The bible states in Luke 2:46 - And it came to pass , that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both HEARING them, and ASKING them questions. If Jesus asked questions, so should you. This does not mean that you ask questions to promote strife and arguing because as it is stated in the same scripture, Jesus HEARD the doctors too! This means that Jesus asked questions to learn, not to argue. I just wanted to briefly clarify that before I went on.

Aaaaany who…

First, let me say that it is NOT God’s will for people to raise children alone. When God designed the family dynamic he put male and female together and told them to multiply and replenish the earth – Genesis 1:28. It was God’s original purpose for each child to be raised by a mother and father. This way the child will grow up BALANCED, just as their heavenly father is!

But what happens when this plan does not come to pass? Is the parent accepted by God? Is the child cursed? Do they have a future? Well, I’d like to answer these questions by taking a biblical look at one single mother, who I must admit; I admire, respect and have many things in common with. Her name is Hagar (read Genesis chapters 16 and 21 on your spare time)

Hagar is not mentioned much in preaching and teaching across the country, but she was a powerful, strong single parent. Hagar represents what most single parents (especially mothers) go through on a daily basis. Just to summarize, Hagar was Sarah’s handmaid from Egypt. Sarah was told by God that she would have a son, but she did not believe Him. So in her haste and bitterness (from waiting too long) Sarah told her husband Abraham to have sex with her handmaid and so, Hagar gave birth to a son named Esau. Once this happened, Sarah despised Hagar. Well as time went by, Sarah conceived and she had a son named Isaac. One day Esau was mocking Isaac and Sarah saw this. She used this opportunity to get rid of Hagar and her son. God permitted this but told Abraham “And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed”. However, Hagar did not know this. She was sent off with some bread and water and “wandered in the wilderness” with her son. This is exactly what we go through as single parents. We are despised when we have children out of wedlock and sent out into the world to wander aimlessly, not knowing where to go or what to do. Most often we have no support system, no life skills and no prospects. Yet we carry around our burden of responsibility and are told to make it the best way we can. Sounds sad, doesn’t it? Well, it gets worse.

As Hagar was wondering in the wilderness she came down to her last rationing of food and water. She was so hurt and so afraid that she put her son under a shrub (where he could get shade) and sat a little distance away from him because she did not want to see her son die. All she could do was cry.

I believe as single parents we cry the strongest, most heart wrenching tears! It seems we face death more than any other family dynamic because we are mostly alone. The pain of loneliness, fear, desperation, vulnerability, weakness, lack of provision and no direction plague us on a daily basis. More often than not, we have no idea where WE are going not to mention the fact that we are responsible for the direction our children take as well.

You know, just on a personal note, I have cried some deep, painful, gut wrenching tears while raising my children. This devotional can not hold all of the drama and pain I had to go through as a single parent. I have been called many names and have been misunderstood many times. I have been shunned, laughed at, scorned and rejected. I have experienced lack of food, resources and on several occasions was one day from losing all and living on the streets. But I did what Hagar did. I lifted up my voice and wept.

I want to share with you a little truth and yes, this will hurt a bit. When we have children out of wedlock we can not expect the world to give us anything. Technically, we are OUT OF GOD’S WILL and most likely will pay a consequence for the choice that we made. But, we are still blessed! Yes, WE ARE STILL BLESSED and SO ARE OUR CHILDREN!

Genesis 21:17-20 - And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is. Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation. And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink. And God was with the lad; and he grew, and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer.

I never really read this scripture correctly until now. I always thought God heard Hagar. I’m sure he did, but he did not respond to her. He responded to the voice of her son, Esau. The bible clearly states that “God heard the voice of the LAD where he is”. Esau was probably praying for his mom because he knew his mother’s faith was not strong. She wanted to give up. She was scared, alone and depressed. But God heard Esau. In answering Esau’s prayer God provided for Hagar PERSONALLY! But here is the kicker. The thing that was supposed to kill Esau was the thing that he perfected. He was supposed to die in the wilderness, but he mastered it and became an archer! Don’t tell me God is not for single parents and their children!!

Sometimes as single parents our faith wavers. When we have done all that we can do God can use our children to strengthen us and keep us moving. Single parents, you and your children have power with God. Your power is in every step you take by faith to raise your children. Your power is in your tears that call down provision from our Father. Your power is in your belief to hold on to God when no one is there for you and when it seems no one cares. Your power lies in your children’s mouth when they speak faith when you can’t.

Here is your assignment: Take hold of your children, look each other in the eye and declare that God is with you and you will make it!